"Animal rescue volunteering - it’s a dirty job.  That's part of the fun! " Copyright © Nola Lee Kelsey, All Rights Reserved

So You May Know
From The Publisher

"Moving Through the World with Grace" as a Voluntourist

In a former life, I spent nearly a decade waiting tables, primarily in Williamsburg, Virginia, and La Jolla, California. More than ten thousand people crossed my path during that period, in one-to-three-hour intervals. Most were ordinary folks like you and me. Some were dignitaries – princes and princesses, dukes and duchesses. Others were political figures. Still others were sports figures; and, some, Hollywood stars. But one singular event stands out in my memory and that was an encounter with Ms. Oprah Winfrey. I would like to share that experience with you as we kick off what promises to be a lesson-packed 2012 for VolunTourism.

Introduction

I began my life of service when I was maybe six or seven years old. I served in the local community choir, of which my mother was the director. I helped my father raise funds for the local chapter of the Association for Retarded Citizens (now the ARC). As I grew older, I tutored students in the mornings at my school, joined the student council, and later the Key Club (the Kiwanis Club for teenagers). Thus, when I was old enough to look for a “formal” job, it was natural for me to select the Hospitality sector, as service was, by experience, already in my blood.

I began waiting tables in 1986 to put myself through school at the College of William & Mary. My collegiate endeavors were unremarkable, however, as I found the “classroom” setting of real world, life experience far more to my liking. The engagements with people of all ages, all walks of life, visiting from far-flung destinations, in some cases speaking languages I had never before heard uttered, were unsurpassable in their impressions on my young mind. I didn’t need to travel in those days, as the world was, quite literally, coming to me in the guise of numerous of its inhabitants.

After moving to Southern California in 1990, waiting tables provided the free time for engaging in long-distance running, training with college and high school athletes, and exploring the inner self. La Jolla served as a greater melting pot of humanity than had been the case in Colonial Williamsburg. I found the atmosphere even more enticing.

An Encounter with Ms. Oprah Winfrey

And so it was on a lazy Sunday afternoon in August 1993 that a group of about seven folks sauntered into the main dining room at George’s at the Cove. I recognized one of these figures almost immediately – I say almost, because she did not have any make-up on that afternoon. For indeed it was Ms. Oprah Winfrey “fresh” off her completion of the America’s Finest City half-marathon (13.1 miles) and, I might add, one of the best half marathons you will find anywhere in the world.

She sat down to the ocean view with Stedman Graham sitting off to her left. Her face was glowing with the satisfaction that only those who accomplish the feat of running a long-distance and crossing the finish line ever truly know. She exuded the sense of personal triumph that I am sure some of you have experienced and I know I have felt on numerous occasions.

Iced teas were the beverage of choice and once served the group ordered lunch. For the appetizer, Ms. Winfrey split a bowl of smoked chicken, broccoli, and black bean soup with a woman on her right. For the main course, she had the fettuccini and garlic parmesan sauce (sans rock shrimp). And, for dessert, the table split a piece of snicker’s pie.
During lunch, Ms. Winfrey and I had a chance to chat with one another. She asked me about myself. I asked her about her life. We shared some stories, even some of the more difficult ones. As there were no other tables in the restaurant at that hour, and her cohort seemed otherwise occupied amongst themselves, it was as though the moments had been created just for the two of us, to have a chance to “reconnect” after a long absence. Anciently familiar it seemed, and yet so utterly unexpected - for how often does one have basically uninterrupted interaction with Ms. Winfrey for what was an hour-plus timespan.

"Ferocious Jaguar!" Copyright © Tony Slater, All Rights Reserved

I cannot adequately describe those moments. Of course, I have lost track of the words that were spoken. But what I haven’t lost sight of is the expression on her face and what I felt was the expression on my face and in my heart as the conversation drew on. Wreathed in smiles, we beamed on each other as only I think people who have known each other before ever can. She treated me with respect and equality. There was no sense that I was her servant and she, the master of the house.

At the end of the meal, she asked me to get her a piece of stationery (letterhead) from the restaurant. I brought it to her not knowing the “why” behind her request. As she was leaving, she handed me the piece of stationery and on it was a personal note “Dear David” it began, with her signature at the bottom. I would like to share a line of that note with you. Ms. Winfrey wrote: “You move through the world with grace.”

I have never shared this story with anyone, other than my girlfriend at the time. Sure, I told folks that I had met ‘Oprah Winfrey’, but I didn’t offer the details you see here. So, why am sharing this with you? Why now?

There is nothing remarkable about who I am, what I do, or why I do it. There is one thing, though, that I think anyone who is interested in being of service can learn from my encounter with Ms. Winfrey and that is “how” we serve one another. If we want to excel as voluntourists, or voluntourism providers for that matter, we have to consider the “how” – the attitude behind our service effort – because it is the thing that shows the most, and therefore, the thing that can be most easily measured.

I believe that we can all “move through the world with grace” as voluntourists. We do not have to focus on the achievement or accomplishment of a task completed – a building built, a trail maintained, a well dug, a computer network established, a person uttering words in a foreign tongue for the first time, a surgical procedure delivered. If we focus on the “how” we go about our service in this world, then I guarantee that whatever that service is, wherever it is rendered, it will be sustainable long beyond its shelf-life.

I will always struggle, on some level anyway, with the critiques of voluntourism by those whose vision (of what service truly is, and can be) is blurred by their lack of familiarity with it, predominantly thinking all the while that it has a timestamp - - “service is without value unless it is six months, a year (or choose your favorite timeframe) long”. I would be willing to bet a large sum of money that they did not spend a sufficient amount of time in the hospitality sector during their respective lifetimes for the message to hit home: Service, ladies and gentlemen, is instantaneous, as it is all about attitude. The spark of service that ignites between two people, who are genuinely vested in being of service to one another, takes no time at all – IF “you are moving through the world with grace.”

Final Thoughts  

"Like-minded volunteers from around the world working together and learning from each other is part of what makes voluntourism so rewarding." Copyright © Nola Lee Kelsey, All Rights Reserved

So, as we enter this New Year, this 2012, this year that happens once every 5,000+ years in the Mesoamerican calendar, let us consider “how” we serve as voluntourists.

When we are selecting a program, do we take the time and due diligence to make certain it is a project that works both for us and the community/ environment being served? When we are booking our voluntourism experience, are we kind and considerate of the person on the other end of the phone or email thread? When we get to the airport and our flight is delayed, are we patient and calm, in other words, are we already in service mode? When we arrive at our dorm-style sleeping quarters, do we let other folks select their favorite sleeping spot before we do our own, and do we make a sincere effort to clean-up after ourselves? When we are interacting with our fellow voluntourists, do we think of how we may render service to them? When we arrive at the project site, do we ask helpful questions - ones that others may be embarrassed to ask? When we get back to our homes, do we write a “thank you” note to the organization that made it possible, regardless of how much money we spent? And do we then take the time to write about our experience – the difficulties and the singular moments of unparalleled realization – to share with others? Or if our experience is lousy, do we analyze it, own our part of it, and express our discontent in a way where everyone can learn from it?

“Moving through the world with grace” is something that can be cultivated. It is a form of service that can be offered in all settings, not simply when we are on a voluntourism trip. Yet, a voluntourism trip can be a great catalyst for launching this personally fulfilling exercise, developing this attitude, because we all know that the challenges that arise from the first moment we decide to undertake such a journey provide us with many, many opportunities to be of service in this way.

It has been said that one cannot see in another that which is absent in the self. Said another way: one can only see in others that which exists within oneself. One could argue that Ms. Winfrey and her guests were the recipients of the service I provided that day. But in her way of “moving through the world with grace,” Ms. Winfrey offered me a service that far surpassed anything that I could have ever imagined. She gave of herself in a situation where only the reverse was expected. And that, dear friends, is precisely what “moving through the world with grace” is all about.

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